picture this......

Funny.  Found these in my drafts - 2 years after the fact; one is a week before Ironman (a), the other is two weeks after (b).

(a) Subject: The Past Year
......first, I need to apologize to all the friends and family that I have been M.I.A. too in the past year.  Or maybe more importantly, I need to apologize to all the people who have had no choice but to interact with me in the past year.  And the people who actually trained with me?  You're mental!

For those of you who are unaware, I am about to embark on my first and only attempt at an Ironman.  Sunday June 27, 2010.  Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.

2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike and 26.2 mile run.  All in 17 hours.

It has been a long year of trials, tribulations and training.

For those of you who are interested, my bib number is 2319  My progress can be followed at www.ironman.com

People have asked me why?  And I struggled with an answer.  I think I was bored.  Needed a challenge.  Recently, I have been told by many people in the sport to have something lined up for after the event.  Many people have a hard time adjusting and have flirted with depression.  Me?  I'm looking forward to having my life back.  Reading.  Gardening.  Walking the dogs.  It takes not having what you want to appreciate it

(b) I have a feeling that I did not give everything I had at CdA. I can make excuses till the cows come home about it was my first,  my training and how I was sick for two weeks or worried about this or that or hurt or whatever, but the bottom line is that I am disappointed in myself with the effort - both pre-race and during - and I need a do-over. 

Because, my friends, let me assure you - it is extremely disappointing to reach the end of your day at Ironman and realize there was more you could have left out there. Way more.

There is something to be said for a healthy dose of respect when contemplating racing Ironman. In reality, I think I just got a little too comfortable with my 'I have 17 hours to finish' and that - that was the beginning of the end for me.

Please don't misunderstand what I am saying, though. I finished, and I finished decently - securely within the time allotment.  This is a feat within itself, and one for which I am quite ok with.   But in my estimation, and it is my estimation that counts, I suppose, this was by no means an equal effort.

And so, what do i do?  Do-over time?  In a big, purposeful, focused, leave everything and the kitchen sink on the race course-type way?  I swore I wouldn't....but i know I'm not happy as it stands