Not gonna lie.  I could have kept sleeping this morning.  I am exhausted after this weekend.  It was a combination of work, play, errands and gardening.  I am now ‘officially’ tuckered.  The last thing I wanted to do was get up and go biking this morning.

But we did. 

Only about 13 k but it was a nice way to start the week while incorporating one hill climb.

Happy with the healthy eating stint.  Well ok, eating the chocolate bar wasn’t the best choice but it sure was enjoyable.  So the official count is 2 Steelers, a 4oz serving of wine & a chocolate bar.  Considering the amount of movement that happened this weekend…that is more than acceptable J

PS  Giant Roam XR-2.  That is what I am saving my pennies for….

So.  No champers Friday.  Had a nice evening out for wings and orange blossom tea.

Saturday was the busiest day I can remember in recent history BUT I enjoyed every single minute of it.  Got so much accomplished AND it finished with 2 pints on the deck.  I enjoyed every.  single.  sip.

Booyah!

So.  Day 11 of being healthy.  Better eating and no drinking.  No drinking ONLY because I haven't felt like one.  Have totally been in situations where the norm or the routine was to have one...but when I stopped to really think about it.  I didn't want one. Brilliant, huh?!

However, tonight is a different story.  After many, many, many years, Stj is done his schooling.  Received his final mark and he now has his degree in B. Comm. and CGA designation.  That is champers worthy...
Wonder if I'll hit Day 12?!

Bullet point update:
(oooops! This was typed up on Tuesday but not posted!)

• Weights yesterday after a 4 week hiatus ~ sore today!
• Planned on going to a spin class this morning with Stj
• Buried my head under a pillow when the alarm went off at 5am
• Ended up going (at Stj’s urging) for a 10k bike ride this morning in the rain & cold ~ LOVED IT

•  Guess husbands sometimes do know best
• Love how I feel the most frumpy & lumpy in years and yet the scale is at its lowest in months
• Starting to get over the Oliver Tragedy
•  Not that I don’t miss him & worry about him…but coming to terms that is was the right thing to do          
• Reading The Happiness Project

                                                                                                                            Day 8

Fell off the workout wagon during the month of April.  I didn't become a total slug...but I wasn't very committed either.

So in preparation for a new month; ended up with a nice 10k under my belt on Saturday and a quick yoga session today...

day 6

As I'm sure you've noticed, I've been down in the dumps lately.  So I think it's funny that I went to get my hair cut tonight and my hairdresser had written on her mirror;  "I want my life to be..."

Our conversation during the cut revolved around her open ended statement and her reading of 'Til Debt Do Us Part'.  Thought provoking and right where my state of mind is right now.

I want my decisions to be conscious and fulfil me.  I want balance.  I want freedom.  I want to recognize the good that surrounds me on a daily basis.  I want to be healthy.  I want to surround my self with positivity.

I have a lot of work to do in order to do all of the above consistently...

After the cut, I went to the library.  Found a book on money, how to de-clutter & stow and 3 magazines about running.  All where my head space is at.  Took the 3 pups on a stroll and admired the sunset against the bright blue sky and racing clouds.  Making me realize that Spring is on it's way (about the frick time!) and how lucky we were in today's raging windstorm.  My 3 k wind sprint training took on a whole new meaning this morning!

Day 3

So.  I sold Oliver.

And I feel terrible.

I think I made a big mistake.

I know that I stated for the past 6 months that we should sell him.  That it was silly to have 3 bikes.  3 bikes that weren't equal.  Someone was always being left behind.  Neither of us will ever become mountain bikers that would use Oliver the way he was intended or push him to his full capabilities.

He was a misguided purchase from the get go.

However.  Having said all of that.  I feel like I let a friend down.  Oliver was there for me over the past 3 years.  He started with me on my road to Ironman.  I took him to the first month of triathlon training sessions.  He saved my sanity on multiple occasions last summer, when the last thing I wanted to do was hop on that f@cking road bike one more time.  He was busted out and gave me a totally different experience while still letting me get in my saddle time.  I loved his shock system.  How cushy the ride was.  The width of his handlebars.  The addition of the L grips.  He was a sweet slow ride...

I shouldn't have taken him out, hours before he was sold.  It was a good last ride.  A ride that has filled me with doubts that I did the right thing.  So what if he was only used 5 or 6 times a year?  I know I don't want to ride a road bike for all my rides.  It's not like we didn't have the space to store him...

I know it's ridiculous.  I did extremely well on the sale, recouping almost 75% of his original cost.  But it's like the 'Ikea Lamp Commercial'...

He's gone to a 13 year old boy.  I worry that he won't be cared for the way we would have... and yet I hope he gets used frequently and the way he was truly intended.  Where 'off roading' means much more than a ride on the Rail Trail.

So in the end...

='s  and a few tears.


And yes.  I do realize that this is a bike I'm talking about.  I am trying to put some perspective around this...it may just take me a few days.

I should be happy.

I have 3 animals that love me
I have husband who makes me smile
I have a house in a beautiful location
I have a job with a steady income
I have a car that I like
I have my health
I have my family

So why aren't I happy?

I need a purpose
I need a goal
I need to stop drinking / eating unhealthy
I need a job that fulfils me
I need to stop day dreaming that winning a lottery will make it all better
I need some sun

Dear Internet.
I'm not happy.
Love,
Lesley

1 month between posts.  That will never do.

• AtheB done
• P2A done
• trip to san diego done
• lots of rest done

Jacked my back during a fall at km 19 in AtheB.  Haven't been right since.  Will work on a more compressive post...

Holy smokes.  No posting since March 12^th…Lemme see what I can remember

S - off

M - weights

T – speed work

W - off

Th – Weights, work and flight

F – walk ‘The Mall’, walk the museums, walk around all the monuments

Sa – more walk, walk, walk + sunburn

S – flight home & in bed by 6.30 pm

M – 20 minute trainer

T – lazy morning hanging with puppies and detailing car, driveway clean up in the evening

W – speed work b/c weight partner bailed due to snow storm

Th – 30 minutes trainer

Project lose weight?  Yah, let’s not go there and the 30k AtheB is this weekend.  That should be fun.  Totally not trained or prepared for it. 

Week in Review:
M - free weights
T - treadmill speed work
W - 15 mins trainer
Th - off
F - free weights
Sa - 29 k run
Sa night - exhausted

Alrighty then.  I've been great on the posting at least 3 times a week.  Not bad at following the schedule (at least a very modified schedule).

And....drum roll please?!  3 lbs down.  Finally.

I'm off to convince myself I want to go do 5 k speedwork on the dreadmill...

 Sunday morning.  9.50 AM.  Still have not got my long run in.

Trying to figure out how I can skip this run....

Update @ 3.15pm: Ran with the Gazelle today.  Had to walk almost every hill.  Got my ass handed to me on a plate.  I bailed after completing 1 of 3 loops...

50 minutes on the trainer in a lame attempt to make up for it

Ok.  Had to check where we left off....bit of a whirlwind around here.

M: 30 mins (at least but i honestly can't remember!) on the trainer + strength in the evening.  Which by the way kicked my ass, in a good way.
T: 4 mile speed work out.  Which by the way I rocked.
W: 15 minutes on the trainer to loosen up every frickin' muscle that had tensed up from the past 3 workouts
Th: The day the wheels came off/a spanner was thrown into the works, personally and professionally.   I think I'm going on 19 hours of solid go, go, go.    But it is ok, please note that I am now three beers into making this day ok.  Make sure you hug the people you love within huggable distance....k?

PSSST -  Monday's numbers looked dreadful (48 ozs of h20 will do that to you) BUT Tuesday AM's looked promising.  With the husband absent for at least the next 5 days...maybe we can ramp it up?!

Thursday - off
Friday - 26 mins on the trainer. A step above a 'better than nothing' workout
Saturday - 24.82 long, torturous kilometre run
Sunday - Recovery Day from Saturday Nights Margaritaville

I'm going to leave the pain and misery of the last 4-5 k of the run on the road BUT I do need to comment on the highlights.  Leading up to the run, thought was put into the preparation, both mentally & physically.  I ate well the 2 days leading up to the run.  Heavy on the carbs & veggies, low(er) on the alcohol consumption.  I also played a mind game and converted the required kilometres to miles, so I only had to run 16 versus 24.  Melissa also planted a water bottle along the route on her way over.  All of these factors combined resulted in a great first 19, almost 20 kms!
The route was measured out on Map My Run for distance and I knew the first section of the run was going to be hilly.  Lots of rolling hills and a few 'holy shit' hills thrown in for good measure.  You know the ones.  The ones that make you mutter 'Jesus!" under your breathe.  Yah.  3 or 4 of those were in the first section.  However, the latter part of the run was an unknown.  I had never run, biked or driven this section.
We kicked ASS on the hills.  KICKED ASS!  Ran the bulk of the them, and walked a small portion.  It was great.  It was an unspoken rule but we both had to be in agreement on the walking portions...
The unknown section, as luck would have it, was flatter, still had some rolling hills but only one of those 'Jesus' hills.  BUT this is also where the new shoes (mine) and IT band issues (Melissa) started to kick in....and that my friends is where the wheels fell off.

Considering the last 2 kms of the run, I shouldn't be walking today.  But all is well with the legs.  If only Margaritaville treated me as well....  

Mid Week Update:
Sunday - Off
Monday - Off
Tuesday - A 35 minute ‘better than nothing’ trainer ride
Wednesday - A rocking good 40 minute trainer ride 
                       - An AM & PM walk with the puppies approximately 2.5 k


So keeping up with 2 out of my 3 goals ain't too bad.  Working out & posting. I'll know how #1 goes next Monday.

The week started out with a bang and ended with a fizzle. I'm solo this weekend (running buddy away) and I have a 10km run scheduled this weekend that MUST get done but I'm also hankering for a short outdoor ride. Since it's a long week, maybe the ride can happen tomorrow or Monday?

Week in Review:
Monday - 1/2 hour ride on trainer AM & 1.15 hours of strength in PM
Tuesday - 5 k speed work on the dreadmill
Wednesday - 1/2 hour ride on trainer
Thursday - off
Friday - bowling
Saturday - N/A @ time of printing

What? Bowling doesn't count?

Nuts.

update: Saturday - 10k run in 1hr 1min

A huge success considering the amount of wind. I'm starting to take offence that somebody, somewhere, whoever it is, thinks my character needs building that much.

I feel like I’m always climbing back onto a wagon…

This week is focused on the workout / fitness wagon. I have 3 goals for the next 7 weeks.

1) Following the schedule below;
M: ½ hour cardio & 1 hour weights
T: Speed work on Tread
W: Spin class
Th: Swim
F: Off
Sa: Long Run
Su: Off

2) March 31st Weight Loss Goal: 9lbs.
F 15th - 0
F 22nd -
M 1st -
M 8th -
M 15th -
M 22nd -
M 29th –

3) As for posting, the good, the bad & I’m sure the ugly, hoping to be here at least 3 times a week.

8 months. Or to be more precise, 232 days

232 days of fooling myself. Fooling myself into thinking I was still active. Active enough to retain my 2010 summer fitness level. I swore I would never go back to where I was before I started the journey, but truth be told, I'm worse off now than before my training days. If I look back, I think the downward slide started to happen just prior to Ironman.

What is the cause of this introspection? I suffered through yet another long run on Saturday.

20 kms.

20 long, fucking, miserable kilometers! Other than rain, we hit all the elements. Snow, both the big fluffy happy snow and also the sting your face driving snow, blizzard in bright sunshine, blizzard in overcast conditions, slush, ice and wind. The wind was so bad in the last third of the run, we put in an emergency call to get picked up. During the recap of the run (read bitching & moaning over breakfast) I heard a few home truths come out from my running buddy and husband…

I’m mulled them over and realized, I’ve been fooling (deluding?) no one but myself.

I’m just not taking care of myself or listening to my body and I’m honestly no happier today then I was when I was training (which I was absolutely convinced I would be with the stress of training behind me).

The culprit? I was going to say Alcohol. Plain and simple. But I don’t think that’s it. I need to include
• Not sleeping well
• Dehydration
• Not enough fresh veg in my life
• Only completing 2 or 3 workouts per week at a half assed level
• Not respecting the long run distances and prepping nutritionally or mentally for them...

The list really could go on. But I'm going to stop there. I'm going to stop and focus on what I have already and begin improvements immediately.

I think coming here and holding myself accountable is key too. So back to more consistent posting. Even if it is only a entry of the activities I engaged in for that day.